After nearly eight months of pregnancy, I've learned a lot. The above diagram really illustrates how I feel in general, particularly the pink circle: "To kill you". If that seems drastic to you, allow me to elaborate.We American's have very strong sense of privacy and appropriateness. There are certain things we would never ask and certain things we would never say unless we were talking to a spouse or a someone we were amazingly close to. However, all of that changes when you're pregnant. All of a sudden, people feel its perfectly ok to invade your privacy. They'll tell you what to eat, what to wear and ask you all manner of private things. Overnight, you seem to go from being a woman to being a walking pregnant belly.
Well friends, as an independent woman (that happens to be pregnant), I've found that there are a number of things that just aren't ok. Here are some of them and the things I WISH I could say in response:
1. Were you trying? You mean did I engage in intercourse with my spouse continuously and repeatedly during times of ovulation so as to conceive? (When put that way you realize what you're really asking, huh?)
2. Can I touch your belly? Unless you are the person who put this baby in here or the one who is taking him out, hands off!
3. You're not allowed to (drink that/work that/eat that, etc., etc.). Gee, thanks for the advice. I had no idea you were an obstetrician!
4. How are you feeling? Well actually, my back feels like I'm being stabbed repeatedly, leaning over causes serious pain and I can't get up or down without grimacing. Do you want to hear more or is that enough?
5. Don't you just love being pregnant? Am I thankful to be pregnant, yes. Am I looking forward to this child, yes. Do I enjoy constant pain, discomfort and exhaustion, no.
6. Will you have another one? I'd actually like to enjoy this one before I start looking into the future, but thanks for asking.
7. You're huge! No really, pregnant women love it when you tell them how big they look.
8. Do you know what you're going to call him/her? Yes, we've thought of a name. No, I don't want your opinion.
9. When I was pregnant ______ happened, it'll happen to you too. Actually, no it didn't. Every pregnancy is different. But thanks for the tip!
10. Oh! Are you pregnant? Get lost! Can't you see I'm trying to shoplift this basketball.
I would seriously love to see you say the basketball remark to some nosey person. You really ought to--they deserve it.
ReplyDeleteI'm still struck by how everyone seems to think it's appropriate to ask me if we're trying for a child just because we're married. It's even better when folks up here say, "Aren't you kind of old for a Southerner to not have kids?" Because clearly, if you live in Cambridge, Massachusetts you would know...
Janee', I adore you.
ReplyDeleteOh Janee'. I laughed about the touching one, because we talked about it last week. I will be interested to see if I will be annoyed at questions like this some day (right now I don't think I would be....but I'm not in that situation so it may completely change.) I definitely get annoyed when people act like the pregnant police and try to tell people what they can or can't do... like you would purposely harm your child. Just think only a few more weeks and then you will just have to deal with people trying to criticize how you are raising the baby! :)
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