7 Reasons I'll Miss Being Pregnant

As Monkey's eviction notice goes into effect tomorrow, I am swiftly realizing that today is my last day of being pregnant. While I'm looking forward to meeting him (let's be real, I would bet money I'm getting my boy!), I'm also kind of sad about losing the identity I've had for the last 39 weeks. It's such a special time, and it's hard to believe it's almost over.

In the last month or so, at least one person a day asks me how I'm feeling and assumes I'm sick of being pregnant. Here's the truth: It actually doesn't bother me that much. 9 out of 10 days, I feel like I could be pregnant for another few months. As for that 10th day, the discomfort level is so low it doesn't really bother me either.

I've been doing some thinking over the weekend, and I think I've determined the biggest reasons I'll miss being pregnant:


7. Sleep

All of my pregnant friends and moms are a little angry with me over this one. While pregnant, I sleep like the dead. It doesn't matter how big I've gotten, I still sleep like a rock, with limited bathroom breaks and no bouts of insomnia. I actually look forward to going to bed each night, knowing I'm going to have a great night's sleep.


6. FOOD

If I eat a ridiculous amount now, I have a clear excuse. BIG belly = BIG food. When you're already gaining a zillion pounds, having cake for breakfast really doesn't seem that big a deal. Once this kids pops out however, it's back to eating like a responsible adult. (As I can't eat after midnight tonight, I have one last day to gorge. I intend to take advantage of it.)


5. You can bring total strangers to tears

Despite the roller coaster of emotions that pregnancy brings, there's a mood boost you get that's like no other. Little compares to the excitement and anticipation of what's to come. And it's not just your mood that gets a list. The bigger you get, the more you notice other people's response. They look at you in the most endearing way -- and yes, they occasionally gush and break into tears. When we were in Mexico, a woman walked by looking at my huge belly, and a big smile spread across her face. I couldn't help but smile back.

4. You get VIP treatment.

When people see your growing belly, they often roll out the red carpet. I've been offered seats on a bus, people have volunteered to pump my gas, and everyone is suddenly willing to fetch me drinks or carry my bags. Other VIP perks include doors being held open, prime parking spots and the first spot in the food line. (Stereotypical perhaps, but hey, I'm not turning it down!)

3. Child Care is SO much easier!

Right now it's easy to feed, bathe, sooth, and rock Monkey to sleep. It will be much more difficult once s/he's out of my uterus.

2. Jemar-care

I currently get foot rubs, back rubs and pretty much whatever I want whenever I ask for it. PLUS, anytime he goes to a store, he comes back with candy. In the last four days he's brought me sour skittles, BIG nerds, sour patch straws and IBC root beer. In fact, I'm blaming at least 10 pounds on Jemar-care.

However, I'm pretty sure he'll drop me like a bad habit once Monkey is here.


1. Baby Connection

There is nothing more special then feeling Monkey move. It's a special connection that's primarily just between us. While it is often uncomfortable (and makes my stomach move into crazy contortions), it's also the sweetest sensation. I'll miss being able to rub my belly and feel comforted knowing he/she is safe.

Coming Soon!

Well friends, big news on the baby front. Since Monkey is breech, it's really dangerous if I were to go into labor now. As a result, we've scheduled a c-section for Wednesday the 28th. It's quite disappointing as it is the exact opposite of the childbirth experience we were hoping for, but it's also exciting to know that we get to meet Monkey in just 4 days.

It's a little like knowing the day of your execution (take the uber-negative connotation away and work with me here). We know this is our last Saturday alone. We know that after tomorrow, the next time we go to church we'll have a baby with us. We know that these are our last days and minutes as a duo. So, we are doing everything we can to cherish the moments.

4 days and counting........

Public Service Announcement

Dear family, friends and any other curious minds:

If you are curious as to whether I've had this baby, ask yourself the following questions:
-Have you gotten a phone call, text message or email from me introducing a baby?
-If that doesn't keep you from contacting me, visit: http://www.haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com/

Bottom Line - the baby isn't here. Stop bugging me.

You Get in the Bowl

http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/watch?v=YEiFIKBPUq8

Can I just say, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this commercial!

Seriously? Seriously?

Well friends, I learned many new things today:

1) Monkey is approximately 7lbs and 15 oz (give or take a pound)

2) Monkey has hair! It was hard to see, but it looked like a lot.

3) Monkey has a larger than average head. It's measuring about one week larger than the rest of him/her. In the words of the ultrasound technician: "There's the head...........and it's not a small one"

Finally and most importantly - After six weeks of being in perfect birthing position, Monkey decided it would be fun to flip upside down. He or she is currently in perfect breech position which complicates just about everything.

The odds of it happening this late in the game? Less than 7%.

Wamp. Wamp.

First Birthday Party Traditions

Because of a new book I just finished reading, I've been thinking a lot about first birthday parties. How big should they be? How much is too much? Is it ridiculous to go to that much trouble for a kid that would be happy with a cardboard box? That sort of thing. While Jemar and I clearly haven't made any decisions, we did agree on one thing: on Monkey's first birthday night, we'll be celebrating the milestone with a tequila shot. Don't judge - keeping a child alive and thriving for a year deserves some liquor :)

Today however, I've been thinking about the tradition of a baby destroying the birthday cake. Am I a bad mom for saying it repulses me?


Any other day a child would be punished for playing with their food. What's so special about that one day that we turn a blind eye and think it's cute. Is it just for a picture? I'd rather my child be covered in dirt from jumping in mud piles than covered in cake and frosting. (Particularly if that cake is funfetti. What a waste!!)

Monkey will most likely be given a cupcake. It may or may not have icing. Feel free to judge away.

Jemar: I want the baby to come out.

Janee': Right now?

Jemar: No, I'm kind of tired now. Maybe in the morning?

Daddy: I read your blog post. I'm going to start telling people to visit and call as soon as the baby is born.

Janee': Why are you so contrary?

Daddy: I don't know, but now you know where you get it from.

Babymoon #2

So, you already know about our trip to Cancun. But there is another type of babymoon we're taking as well.

http://www.myriamedia.com/press/chicagotribune-babymoon.htm

I think its incredibly important to time away to celebrate the creation of a new family unit. After a wedding, its the honeymoon. The time you take to spend with your new spouse and develop that relationship. The time you take to be alone, just the two of you. After a great deal of thought and research, Jemar and I realized that we needed this time after the birth of our child. It's not the most popular idea and actually can raise some strong reactions, but we both feel it's the right move for us.

At our wedding, my last single girl moments were spent with my Mother (who was my matron of honor) and my Daddy (who was giving me away). No one else was around, it was just us. Its not as though we talked about anything deep or shared any meaningful glances, but it meant the world to me. Likewise, at the end of the night when it was finally just Jemar and I, that quiet time together was the most special. I want to experience the same thing after our child is born.

Assuming this is a normal, complication free delivery, Jemar will take a week off work. During that time, we will essentially go into hiding. After sending a text or a voicemail letting everyone know of the safe arrival, phones will be turned on silent and our babymoon will begin. For seven days, we'll bond and have the chance to fall further in love with each other. It will be just Jemar, myself and Monkey; a new family taking time to get to know each other.

By the end of that week, Monkey will know who his parents are. Jemar (who has NEVER changed a diaper and admits he's at a loss with baby care) will be able to learn in peace and when he goes back to work will have confidence that he can take care of his child with or without me present. As for me, I'll be content knowing that Jemar and I have learned how to work together to take care of Monkey and that when visitors do come, they'll be fitting into our system instead of the other way around.

What about our parents you ask? We LOVE both sets of our parents. They are involved a great deal in our lives, but they never overstep. They really give us the chance to live and make our own mistakes. We can't wait to see our parents (and parents-in-law) hold and love on their new grandchild. (I also can't wait until they take him/her for the summer either, but that's another post). But despite the excitement we will feel that day, I know the baby will be at least a week old before it happens.

Thankfully, we've been blessed with two sets of parents that will understand. In fact, back when news of the baby was new, it was my super-sweet mother-in-law that told me while they would come rushing down in August, they would wait and give us time together as a family. We feel blessed to have their support in our "babymoon"............but we're also looking forward to having eight extra helping hands!

So friends, for seven days we will be incommunicado. We won't answer our door. We most likely won't return phone calls or texts. But we will, spend every moment reveling in our new life. But don't worry, I'll make sure one or both of us, posts messages and pictures so that while you can't talk to us or be there, you'll still be updated on Monkey and the new Tisby family.

It maybe selfish or too controlling, but it's the best thing for our family, and we're ready to fight to make sure it gets honored. And you know what they say, anything worth having, is worth fighting for!

Sippy Cups are NOT for Chardonnay

As you can see, I'm reading a new book - one that's right up my alley.......(no judgment please). I started last night and I'm loving it! The author's close friend is Chelsea Handler, so you know it has to be funny.

My favorite quote thus far: "If you're holding your baby 24/7, that's not a baby, that's a tumor"

Bad mom, party of 1?

Babymoon Reflections

Did you ever dream of being a rock star? Travel to Mexico pregnant and you'll feel like you are. Everyone from fellow guests, to the resort staff to everyday citizens LOVED talking about and talking to Monkey.

Every time we went to the Cocay restaurant at our resort, the hostess would talk to the baby and ask him/her how their day was going. Others were desperate to offer any help or to share their thoughts on the sex of the baby and offer name suggestions. Their excitement, was contagious and added to our own.

In addition to basking in our excitement, we also spent time reflecting on how different our future vacations would be. During our week in Cancun, we were really excited to see so many families traveling with small children. While we knew the experience would be completely different with a baby along, we also knew that even with Monkey, we wouldn't have to give up something that was so important to both of us.

So naturally, we talked a lot about how we would travel with a little one and where we would go next. Jemar has always wanted to visit Italy, so that's on top of the list, but we're also thinking of Greece as a possibility. Either way, there are a lot more adventures in store for the Tisbys! We know a trip to the beach will never be the same, and will probably never be as relaxing, but we're excited about the new moments and experiences we will have to cherish. So for now, it's all about the research and finding the smoothest way to travel to Europe with a 10 month old.

Get ready Monkey, there's a whole world waiting for you to explore!

Excuses start.......NOW!

Four weeks and counting, which means, Monkey is full term and could be here any day. Yikes! Maybe now would be a good time to pack a GO bag.....

Anyhow, this entire pregnancy I have made a point to not use my little parasite as an excuse and to be as active as possible. However, I have a feeling all that is about to change. Why? Look to the left.

This is an actual representation of my current inner workings. Do you notice how squashed everything is? Do you see where my liver is? I was a science teacher, I know it shouldn't be there!

Consequently, the next few weeks have been dubbed, "Do-whatever-Janee'-wants-and-like-it" time. And I believe I shall start with a back rub.......Oh, Je-m-ar......